wintry mournings

winter is delegated as the last season...but it depends on perception really. just like a person who grows old but refuses to admit that she have in fact, grown really old. take myself for example, at the ripe old age of twentysix and will be turning twentyseven in six months, i already feel the need to sometimes lie about my age. or refuse to answer the question inevitably asked quite too often; "how old are you?" (ie: A 7 year old, Welsh gentleman, named Collin asked this to me when he sat beside me on the #12 bus on my way home from school just before Christmas break begun.. Mind you he was very proper and offered his own age before asking mine, it went like this: " I'm seven how about you?" To which I smilingly replied; "Would you want to take a guess?' and he did. Amazingly, his first guess was 'thirteen'.)

now i face admitting that I'm indeed growing 'wintry'(ok, i coined this term to fit here...in this usage it means old) by listing down the Top 5 signs that I've grown up. Here goes everything...


Top 5 : I've started to take my own health as my own responsibility.
Gone were the days when I would run away from home for dear life when my Mum threatened to inject me with the 3rd installment of the Hepatitis B vaccine. Just last March, without anybody prodding me, and purely of my own accord I went to have my own vaccine of Anti-flu which guarantee that you won't be infected with it (the flu, i mean) for a whole uncompromising year.

I've also had a phobic relationship with ANY dentist for as long as I can remember. I hate (with a passion) to have someone drilling into my mouth as I hold it wide open helplessly for what seem like a lifetime (and salivate profusely during the whole painstaking process), where I end up going home without any feeling on my gums in my whole mouth that I don't realize that I've been drooling on my jeepney ride back home. But lately, I've began braving it and right before I left, I went to a dentist for an oral hygiene checkup (to which I passed with flying colours) and ended up just having a routine prophylaxis.

I don't disregard any mild pain I feel anywhere in my body anymore. I've taken care of my recurring illnesses like my acidity (ulcers) and UTI to the point of healing completely. I now have a fixation of flossing, a lot. Personal hygiene and health has become a priority. This is a sure sign that I've grown old because I now know that no one would take care of myself other than me. (sabi nga nila, ito ang puhunan ko) that's why I don't fancy the thought of anything happening to it and I'm now actively trying my best to be sure that nothing would.


Top 4 : I've begun to realize the value of saving.
OK. No one might believe me. Because I still spend a lot. But I really have. Saving would guarantee that I can look forward to a reasonably bearable advanced winter. (ie. advanced old age)

Top 3 : My insomnia have grown worse.
This I believe is a really good sign that I've grown old because long after Mavic has been snoring for a good one hour... I would still be pondering on the 'inevitable/s' of my life. I now think that as people grow old, it gets quite harder to fall asleep because my mind goes into frantic frenzy as I lie in bed. (this could just be me. but as a look upon Mavic enviously, I know that when I was her age it wasn't this hard to fall asleep) Well, there are two main reasons that I can think of which could have aggravated this, though...#1 is my long stint in call centres that forced me to condition myself to be fully aware at night (which caused my biological clock to go irrevocably hay-wired). #2 reason could be my fierce addiction with caffeine (coffee and tea alike). They said this causes nerves...so could it be that the 'nerves' they keep talking about it true? and it just so happen that it programmed itself to pester me at night?

Top 2 : I now have tolerance. (this evaded me before) And longer patience.
This is for most things. Every time I feel annoyance I now have the capacity to take a deep breath and slowly turn around. I now pick my battles to those that are worth the effort of fighting. I can now keep my mouth closed if I have nothing good to say. I can now smile bravely everytime life turns sour and become almost unbearable and simply wait it out.

Well, maybe there is awareness in me that's enough to make me consciously choose where to apply this claim for tolerance and patience. Because there's still a part of me that believes that there are times when it is still much more sophisticated to give up, turn around and walk away as compared to sticking it out.


Top 1 : The number 1 sign that I've grown seriously old is: I am now able to appreciate the things in my life that I used to ignore or just simply does not see. I cant explain this fully though. It's just that I'm now very aware of occurrences, things and even people that used to be nonexistent. It really is surreal and weird but its hilarious just the same.