waiting for heaven sent

have i been bitten by the love bug in this love month?
I refuse to admit to or own up to anything.
if technicality is a point to be taken for all I would say
I would very well conclude that the love bug has evaded me again this year.
liking - i have learned, (in the harshest possible way)
is far too different from loving.
And as much as I LIKE lots of guys
I am very far from falling in love with any of them
I need not elaborate how infatuation is just that... and nothing more
at a younger age I used it as an excuse for my foolishness
but now I know how destructive it can get.
love is a fruit of something wonderful
and it leads to something that undeniably exceeds any product of wishful thinking or daydreaming
at least, it should be in my vocabulary
i used to long for someone
to be 'coupled'
to feel loved and special
but this is all immaturity.
because i was settling for something (or someone?) that was unsuitable
in inumerable ways
i was going for something
that was wrong in almost all aspects
i dont claim for them to be the only one at fault
i did my share of shortcomings
love truly is a risk
a jump off a mountain
a plunge to the deepest ocean
but at then end of the day it should be a conscious decision
a decision that may lead to regret if done blindly
i don't think that love is blind
in fact, it should enable us to open our eyes
and entail for us to see clearly and vividly
what is real and what is not
it is something that everyone at one point or another wants
but not all may get during the time we want it most.

I have made my stand.

I CHOOSE to remain single
not because im undesirable;
but because I am so gorgeous i deserve the very best
not because I am unlovable;
but because I know I have too much to give to waste on someone fleeting
not because I can't have someone;
but because I intend to hold out
and wait for the one
- who is truly heaven sent.
And I am not settling for less.