a bit of valentine fever

this valentines' day
im using my 'foreigner' status to let this season fly by without
having it affect me in any form (or, so i try)

though, at the very front of my office window is a flower shop
and today, everytime i look out the window
i see the splattering of rose petas both in white and red on the path way leading to the shop
it was splendid.
the arc made of rose plant at its very door is just icing on the cake
it was so that inviting...
that i did not fail to notice a number of unknown faces leaving the shop carrying huge bouquets
in consequent succession
keeping the shopkeeper very busy
and i assume it will be more so tomorrow.


is valentines' day all about flowers, champagne, and chocolates?
and dare i add teddy bears?
because if it is, i refuse to fall victim to a celebration
that is feeding on consumerism.
im not griping at all.
it's just that i think there are far more
creative and personal way
of showing that special someone how special they truly are.

i would think that my dream valentines day
would be a getaway
- to paris.
spending it with someone who i know will be there with me
50 years later
and will make every waking day extraordinary
just because we are beavering through life together.

I want more than just a valentines day you see
i want a lifetime.

waiting for heaven sent

have i been bitten by the love bug in this love month?
I refuse to admit to or own up to anything.
if technicality is a point to be taken for all I would say
I would very well conclude that the love bug has evaded me again this year.
liking - i have learned, (in the harshest possible way)
is far too different from loving.
And as much as I LIKE lots of guys
I am very far from falling in love with any of them
I need not elaborate how infatuation is just that... and nothing more
at a younger age I used it as an excuse for my foolishness
but now I know how destructive it can get.
love is a fruit of something wonderful
and it leads to something that undeniably exceeds any product of wishful thinking or daydreaming
at least, it should be in my vocabulary
i used to long for someone
to be 'coupled'
to feel loved and special
but this is all immaturity.
because i was settling for something (or someone?) that was unsuitable
in inumerable ways
i was going for something
that was wrong in almost all aspects
i dont claim for them to be the only one at fault
i did my share of shortcomings
love truly is a risk
a jump off a mountain
a plunge to the deepest ocean
but at then end of the day it should be a conscious decision
a decision that may lead to regret if done blindly
i don't think that love is blind
in fact, it should enable us to open our eyes
and entail for us to see clearly and vividly
what is real and what is not
it is something that everyone at one point or another wants
but not all may get during the time we want it most.

I have made my stand.

I CHOOSE to remain single
not because im undesirable;
but because I am so gorgeous i deserve the very best
not because I am unlovable;
but because I know I have too much to give to waste on someone fleeting
not because I can't have someone;
but because I intend to hold out
and wait for the one
- who is truly heaven sent.
And I am not settling for less.